Monday through Thursday...My Normal Routine. ~ 17 November 2007

Waking up in time to make it to work on time. Pissing my life away down the toilet with the water of time showing me that all the crap of my wasted life flushes away just like that. Eating oatmeal or cereal for breakfast. Brushing my teeth, using deodorant, putting forming cream in my hair and making it a little spiky, taking a bunch of meds to help me breathe and hopefully not have an asthma attack, and more meds to keep me from being way too f***ing depressed, getting dressed, listening to the weather report on my fancy weather-radio alarm clock, choosing which shoes to wear depending on whether rain is predicted or not, getting in the car and driving to the train station, sleeping on the train on the way downtown, asking the person beside me to get the f*** up (as politely as possible) so I can catch the next train to Hyde Park, walking for 8 blocks to the Van Buren Station from Union Station, again sleeping on the train (but for a moment), walking another 8 blocks to the bookstore, entering the seminary, walking into the mailroom, saying 'Good Morning' to Joe, drinking a 16 oz lo-carb Monster Energy drink, reading the in-store messages, reading personal store messages to me, checking the register schedule, looking up who's died for the day on the Obituaries page of The New York Times online (yeah, at 8:00 in the morning - just the ghoul in me), listening for the morning smart quiz (and hoping no one is talking too loudly to hear it clearly at the same time), saying 'bye' to Joe and going downstairs to the first level of the basement we commonly know to be Hades, figuring out who left what bullshit on my desk without a message and that I have to figure out why it is there and what I need to do to remedy any problem, work 8+ hours in the bookstore, have lunch in the mailroom if it is not too crowded or occupied, check my e-mails, leave work at the end of the day, catch more trains, write in my journal for a page or two, read the newspaper (The NY Times) from cover to cover (mostly glossing and reading specific articles: book reviews, etc., and trying to keep an eye on the foreign exchange rates, the sports pages, and of course the obituaries in print edition), getting back into town (Naperville), driving home, drinking a pub mug full of lactose-free chocolate milk, perhaps eating dinner or going to the library (to satisfy my bibliomania), reading The TLS book reviews, perhaps having a drink (i.e. a nightcap) to help me deal with the long day and realize that my depression is never going to go away if I keep on drinking alcohol, going online to various websites to satisfy my utterly hopeless sense of boredom, trying to learn some new information from the internet and remembering that it's just the same old crap in a new candy wrapper, staying up way too late, taking a shower, taking more meds to keep me from becoming psychotic (i.e. progressively catatonic), taking sleeping pills to help me keep from thinking all night long, brushing and flossing my teeth, perhaps shaving (once or twice a week, if even that often), getting into some form of pajamas (a t-shirt and boxers - with cartoon characters on them - and maybe a sweat shirt and actual pajama bottoms - if it's cold outside, since I sleep right beside the window), trying to read something to help me fall asleep easier, taking more sleeping pills when I am still awake, getting about 3-4 hours sleep on the weeknights, and getting up in the morning to make it to work on time, if I'm lucky, getting up 20 minutes early to catch the 6:17 Express, so I can spend 20 minutes in Intelligentsia Coffee to get either a mocha expresso (yummy) or a traditional cappuccino (bitter, but lovely), and write in my journal for a page or two.