Just had a conversation with André about karma and how I see it as more than just about morality and acting ethically.
My view is that that type of thinking about karma is a superficial way of understanding something that is broad and deep.
To me, karma is about the bond you create with certain people in this life that may or may not be related to you through family, friends or work.
Like if you get into a car accident and kill someone, and that person was an organ donor and saved someone's life (indirectly) by giving them a new heart or liver, etc.
With that, there is a karmic bond between you and the person who died, and the person who died and the donor-recipient; and possibly even between you (the agent or origin) and the donor-recipient.
Karma transcends lifetimes into past and even future lives; until we can cut the knots that tie us in harmful way to other people.
This is why ahimsa, or non-harming / non-violence is such an important concept in relation to the concept of karma, in which they are intimately bound and entwined.
Tatiana has gone past the end of the hall (to the east) into an area where I can no longer see her...but voilà, there she is again!
One time she came at full-tilt down the hall and into the apartment and I never knew why she bolted so fast; it was amazing to watch her run / gallop so swiftly.
She seems bored and I should play with her for a little while.
I got Tatiana last winter as MC asked me at work if I wanted a cat that was found out in the snow. Her apartment building's custodian put the cat in the laundry room where she seemed happy as could be.
In some respects, that would have been the best place for her to remain until she had had her kittens; since the veterinarian had offered to abort her once I found out she was pregnant, and I made a split-decision to go ahead and let him spay her.
A decision that I now regret, as I regret giving up my Fyodor and Natasha for adoption.
I don't tend to make good decision unless I have a day or more to think over the issue.
Whenever I think about the mistakes that I've made in the past based on poor judgment, I feel like killing myself. The pain in my gut becomes so overwhelming that I wish that it would end and I with it would disappear.
And this is why Tatiana saves my life everyday; as I can't leave her alone in this world without knowing who's going to take care of her.
Sort of like I don't know who's taking care of Fyodor and Natasha, or whether they kept them together, since they were brother and sister from the same litter.
I have a photo of me holding them in my hands when they were kittens, and all I could ever notice was my hairy forearms. But now, all I would notice is the two little critters I once loved with all my heart and gave away for no good reason.
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